...words...

"Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?"

Sometimes words get stuck...and you chew on them for years...and one day they just might make sense...

My head is filled up with all kinds of words. Specially when I am a bit down and out...Then my brain takes a walkabout in all the words I have absorbed over the years, good and bad...

I love the darkness...autumn with it's colours and rainstorms...probably would have been different if I lived in USA now in the flooded area...I would not particularly like the rain that much then...but still...The force of nature telling us how small and insignificant we are...and yet our leaders discuss if we should kill people or not...

I am ugly...I look like a boy...I am too thin...
I do not hear those words any more...

I am older...I am most certainly a woman...and I am fluffy...

This I know...for a fact...

But I will never forget those words...and I still hear them in my head...

I am stupid...I know absolutly nothing about anything important...stupid girl...

I still hear those words too...
But I know I can handle my own shit...I deal with shit every day...

I am not stupid...My characters in school tells me different...

I am lazy...but not stupid...and I have an ilness that allows me to be lazy...and forgetful...

I am insignifigant forgetful...I forget words...but remembers words I can use as substitutes for those words I forget...

Like."Bread"...I describe it..."Long and oval, and you cut it and have ham and cheese on it, or jam...or other stuff...it smells good!" 

That is my substitute when I forget the word "bread"...

I am delightfully forgetful...and I even forgot which year this is...

I am tired...

So, so tired...

And I know all the words to say when to be nice...I also know the words to use when to defend myself...

I know...how to love...

I know...how to hurt...and to be hurt...

And now I know that my overflow of words is over...in english that is...

Do not mund my misspellings...I know they can be many...

My intensions are good...

Go with peace...

Love, Aina...